


Confessing Really Shouldn’t Be This Difficult

by Nozoroomie



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F, I really hope this is as funny as I attempt to make it, I tagged everyone because everyone is important, Poor Nico, The ongoing nicopana story we all deserve, i will make sure of that, second years are too!, slight NozoEli and RinMaki, well its mostly the third and first years who are but
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-09-07 14:30:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8804515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nozoroomie/pseuds/Nozoroomie
Summary: Nico is in love with Hanayo. It’s a beautiful and wonderful feeling. She wants to express her love and tell the girl just how she feels, but it’s so hard to confess when the universe hates you.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I’ve wanted to get started on this ongoing story for quite a long time now, and I finally decided to say ‘fuck it’ and just do it. The Nicopana story we all deserve!! I’ll do my best to bring this ship justice and a really nice, heartwarming and hilarious story.
> 
> This is just the prologue, but excluding it the intended amount of chapters are 11! Please look forward to it :’)
> 
> side note, I have never in my life written a conversation through text in a story before so I hope the way I formatted it was alright! 
> 
> smol shout out also to banditchika on tumblr for attempting to help me come up with a title but instead giving me the best way to summarize this fic.

A single beam of light shines brightly in the dark bedroom as Nico’s fingers quickly type in a message. Once the send button is hit, she follows it up with a sleepy rabbit sticker and wishes the person she’s talking to a good night one last time. All she receives in response is a sleepy hamster sticker and the third year smiles softly as she rereads the last few messages. The familiar sensation of her increased heart beat drums in her chest and the girl shuts her eyes tightly, hoping they pass over soon.

Talking to someone who makes your heart race this fast in the middle of the night might not be good for Nico’s health.

Nico pulls her phone away from her and exits the conversation. She contemplates turning her phone off and heading straight to bed, but she knows the overwhelmingly loud pounding of her heart might keep her awake longer than she;d want to be. The conversation wasn’t anything to even make her heart race this way, Nico doesn’t even understand completely why she feels so ecstatic and happy. Maybe because it was a conversation the both of them were so into? It’s hard for her to tell.

She quickly scrolls to a different conversation, opening it up and typing in a quick message to another one of her friends.

“Hey, I know it’s late but can I ask you something?”

Nico doesn’t actually expect a reply until the morning, but when the little “read” message pops up, she knows she’s about to receive an immediate response.

“Of course Nicocchi! What do ya need?”

It’s followed by a sticker with a character looking curious and interested and Nico huffs.

“I didn’t expect you to reply so fast. Shouldn’t you be asleep, Nozomi?”

“I could say the same thing to you!”

Nico sends a slightly irritated bunny emote in response.

“Really though, are you alright?”

Nico’s gaze softens as she reads Nozomi’s reply.

“I’m fine, really. I just have a question.”

The little read notification pops up, but the other girl doesn’t reply. Nico takes this as her cue to ask her question.

“How did you know you liked Eli?”

When the message is already marked as read, Nico knows Nozomi’s just staring at their conversation. She feels a bit nervous, asking such a weird question to Nozomi in the middle of the night, but Nico’s trying to make a decision here and Nozomi was always a great person to confide to before making such important choices. She waits patiently for Nozomi’s words of wisdom and is soon graced with a short reply.

“Oh~? Is there someone out there who has won our little Nicocchi’s heart <3?!”

A sudden spam of heart stickers clog Nico’s feed and she blushes embarrassed.

“Ugh. If I knew this was how you were going to reply, I would’ve just asked Eli. Actually, you know what? I’ll just do that tomorrow.”

It’s sent in two separate speech bubbles and as Nico’s about to say goodnight to Nozomi, the girl replies with a short wall of text.

“I really don’t know. The more I think about it, the more I realize it was always just sort of there. I liked Elichi a lot when we became friends and the more we opened up to each other, the more connected to her I felt. After a while I think it just sort of happened. I didn’t really know I had fallen for her for sure until we were walking home one day in second year and she told me...something very embarrassing.”

She follows it up with a flustered bear emoticon before the paragraph continues.

“It made me very happy though. Even though it was really cold and there was snow everywhere, I felt so incredibly warm. My heart felt like it might’ve burst out of my chest too! It felt like it was out of a manga or something!”

Nico snorts.

“Wow, that incredible huh?”

It was too hard not to tease Nozomi about it.

“Hey, aren’t you feeling something similar? Hmm~? Isn’t that why you asked me about when I knew I liked Elichi~?”

Nico doesn’t know how to reply. She waits a couple minutes, trying to decide on whether she should outright deny it and make some crappy excuse, or tell Nozomi the truth. Asking Nozomi how she knew she liked Eli only confirmed her own feelings for the one she holds dear, and admitting them to her friend might be more difficult than she can imagine. Telling Nozomi the truth would be a lot easier, but it’d be embarrassing admitting to somebody when she had only just figured it out.

A new message bubble catches her eyes and she reads it.

“You know, you can tell me anything, right Nicocchi?”

With that, Nico decides there’s no point trying to hide it. This was Nozomi she’s talking to, if anything Nozomi would root for her and cheer her on. Maybe she might even help her out. Those thoughts themselves give Nico the courage to reply.

“Yeah, thanks Nozomi. Your reply helped me figure it out a bit.”

She takes a deep breath and without much more thought, Nico sends a second reply.

“So, I think I’m in love with Hanayo.”


	2. Love Letter Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confession attempt number one: An incredibly crafted love letter, written with the help of her two best friends. The stationery is perfect, the letter is dropped off at just the right time, and everything seems to be in place. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome to the very first -official- chapter of this story! Thank you for being so patient and hanging on to just the prologue for so long- I promise I'll try to keep up with regular updates. If things go well, hopefully every 2-3 weeks a new chapter will be posted!
> 
> Small note: Every time "Line" is mentioned, it's referring to the instant messaging app! 
> 
> And a special HUGE thank you to @Banditchika, I'm love you, thank you so so much for all your help betaing this and helping me figure out better ways to word my sentences, and to @Sessaware for also reading it over and giving me her input! Thank you both again so so much ;w;.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter!

“Hanayo?!”

Nico sighs and fiddles with her eraser at the end of the club table. A notebook lies open in front of her and a mechanical pencil rests next to it. Eli’s exclamation causes her to blush a bit. Is it always this embarrassing telling your best friends who you have a crush on?

“That’s right Elichi~” Nozomi says in a sing song voice. “Our beloved Nicocchi is in love with cute little Hanayo-chan!”

“Harasho!” Eli’s eyes sparkle with excitement and she looks at Nico with the brightest smile, “I was a bit worried when you asked for us to meet in the club room, but I’m glad it’s for something as wonderful as this.”

Nico smiles awkwardly. “Thanks, I guess.” She shrugs and plays with her eraser a bit more. 

“Do you plan on telling her?” Eli asks.

A dumb question from Eli, really. She’s got writing supplies in front of her- she’s asked both of them to meet with her and given Eli the final details of the conversation her and Nozomi had the night before. The question isn’t if Nico plans on telling her, but more like  _ how _ she plans on telling her. 

“Actually, that’s sort of why you’re here. Both of you.” Nico points towards Nozomi, who flashes a small grin.

“Nicocchi, is this your way of asking us to help you?” She teases. 

Eli’s face is ecstatic for a moment, the idea already warming up to her. She looks to Nico with a unwavering and determined smile. Nico blushes a bit, not sure if she can answer Nozomi when Eli’s looking at her like that.

“I’d love nothing more than to help you out.” She says with confidence, “I’ll do whatever I can to help get your feelings to reach Hanayo.” 

Despite Eli’s reassurance, Nico can see the tiny tinge of pink on Eli’s cheeks, as if she were a little embarrassed by her choice of words. She wishes this were a conversation on Line and not in person, that way she wouldn’t have to attempt to hide her blush. Or have to hear the words “your feelings” and “Hanayo” voiced out loud by her friends. It’s not like she’s embarrassed or  anything, but hearing the words spoken out loud from other people makes it feel more real. More set in stone. The idea of telling Hanayo she loves her is nerve wracking, but making a plan to act on those feelings makes her heart race in a way that can only be described as horrifying. Or exciting. There’s actually several ways Nico could describe this feeling, if she really thinks about it.

This might be hard to get used to.

“Yes okay! Yeah, I need a bit of help. Not like, a huge amount, I just-” she pauses, looking to the paper and gesturing to it with both hands. “I want to write her this love letter, full of my feelings, but I don’t even know how to begin it.”

“Oooh, you’re gunna tell her through love letter huh? Good choice, Nicocchi. Very direct and to the point.” Nozomi nods her head, approving of Nico’s idea.

“Right? I thought so too.” Nico crosses her arms and smirks, satisfied that her idea is a hit. “My problem here is I can’t write a good enough letter.”

“How many times have you tried to write it?” Eli inquires.

“About three,” Nico replies instantly. Her friends stare at each other before looking back to her and she sighs dejectedly. “ Okay, seven. But none of them sound right! I can’t form the right words at all. Saying ‘I like you, please go out with me,’ is way too flat and unexciting, but whenever I try to elaborate I just get distracted and end up with disasters like this.”

She flips a couple pages back in her notebook and hands it to Eli. She takes it and glances over one of the letters Nico’s written. Her cheeks puff a little as she tries -and fails- to stifle a small giggle. She covers her mouth with one hand and Nico rolls her eyes.

“It’s fine. That’s one of the first drafts so of course it’s bad.”

“I-it’s not that.” Eli tries to reassure, “The letter just sounds nothing like you at all. It’s like you’re putting on an act.”

“Eh?! Seriously?! I didn’t think it was that bad...” Nico grumbles and Eli flips the page, reading over the next letter.

“Hmm.. this ones better, but you’re right about sounding too flat. I’d say it’s more like you’re really… stiff?” She looks to Nozomi with a questioning gaze and holds the notebook out to her.

Nozomi takes it with both hands and scans the letter. She puts a thoughtful hand to her chin and hums, furrowing her brows and examining the characters on the page. Nico can already hear something ridiculous coming from Nozomi’s mouth.

“Actually, It’s just really easy to tell how nervous you are while writing this.”

Surprised, Nico sits up.

“Really?” She asks. 

“Mhmm. It’s not even about penmanship really, it’s more like your wording fumbles around a lot, ya know?” She flips the page back to the earlier letter and reads it, smirking a little before pushing the notebook away. “That first one on the other hand? Yikes.”

There it is. Nico frowns. “Gee, thanks.”

“So, how do we help Nico improve her letter then?” Eli says, bringing the two of them back to the main question once again.

The three of them fall into silence, pondering it. Nico’s hands go back to fiddling with her eraser and Eli takes the notebook, scanning through the different letters Nico’s already written. Nozomi looks to the ceiling with a small frown as she considers different options. A phone vibrates and each of the girls check their pockets to determine who’s phone received the message. 

Nico’s eyes light up a little when she notices an e-mail notification from Hanayo. She opens it with glee and Eli and Nozomi peer over curiously, wanting to know who the sender is. The contents are an image file and a caption that says “Don’t tell Maki-chan I sent this!!”

“Oho? What’s this Hanayo-chan is sending you?” Nozomi quips, leaning closer to get a better look.

“Isn’t it a bit rude to peek at messages that aren’t yours?” Nico jabs, but does nothing to move away from Nozomi or Eli’s curious gazes. 

Nozomi laughs and says nothing to follow up. Nico taps on the thumbnail and the photo takes a moment before it loads. Nico snorts while Eli and Nozomi chuckle as a photo of a flustered Maki and beaming Rin take up the screen. Both have kitty whiskers drawn on in some sort of pen, and judging by the slight blur of the photo, Hanayo must have moved her camera out of the way fast so Maki didn’t notice. Nico’s phone vibrates and she exits from the photo to read the next message.

In quotations, the text reads “We’re a couple of cutie panthers!” followed by a dash and Rin’s name. Nico laughs loudly while the other two giggle with her. When she recovers from her laughter she opens up a blank reply and begins to type.

“Cute, but if I remember right, there’s three cutie panthers, ain’t there?”

Nico hits send with another laugh.

“Ahh, lunch with those three looks like it’s fun. We should all eat together sometime.” Nozomi comments with a grin.

“We can always do that tomorrow.” Eli suggests.

Another vibration comes from Nico’s phone and she ignores the other two as they begin making plans for tomorrow's lunch. The reply from Hanayo is only a photo this time, and Nico opens it curiously. When the picture loads her throat closes and her hold on the phone tightens. Hanayo’s holding a shy peace sign up with one hand. Her glasses are on and decorating either sides of her face are two whiskers that match Maki and Rin’s from the previous photo. There’s a slight tinge of pink to her cheeks, as well as a couple grains of rice lingering in the corner of her mouth.

Nico feels like she could die happy this very moment from the surprise photo. Nozomi and Eli have stopped talking and are looking at Nico with concern on their faces. Her phone vibrates again and Nico’s brought back to reality, backing away from the photo and reading the follow up text.

“Rin-chan had to take the photo, but we’re all here!!  (´･ω･`)”

‘Thank you Rin.’ Nico thinks, tempted to raise her fist in the air.

“What was the last picture Hanayo sent?” asks Nozomi as she leans closer, wanting to see the image. Nico almost chucks the phone across the room in her surprise. 

“I-It was Hanayo,” She says, going back to the picture to show the other two. 

“Is this a sign you and I are being replaced by Rin and Hanayo for the next performance of Cutie Panther?” Eli jests, a warm smile on her face. “We can swap subunits for the day. Nico, you can be with Printemps while I join Lily White.” 

Eli’s the only one who laughs at her joke. Nozomi and Nico make eye contact, knowing that if a switch like that actually happened, Eli would probably be in Printemps and Nico would join Lily White. They let Eli have her fun and Nozomi watches as Nico smiles fondly at the photo on her screen.

“Nicocchi really loves Hanayo-chan, doesn’t she.” It’s not said as a question, nor teasingly. It’s a genuine observation. Nico looks to her friend and notices the warm, fond smile she has. The kind Nozomi wears when Eli walks into the room. 

“I-” She pauses, thinking over her own feelings. She knows talking with Nozomi last night cleared up her uncertain feelings, but they’re still so new and unfamiliar, she feels a little weird saying them outloud. “I really, really do.”

Nozomi and Eli settle back down in their chairs. Nozomi looks at Eli, silently communicating something that the blonde seems to understand perfectly. Her green eyed gaze looks back to Nico and her smile turns cheeky as she asks a question.

“Why?” 

Flabbergasted, Nico almost glares at her.

“What the heck do you mean ‘why’?!” She almost throws her arms up. “I don’t know why I love Hanayo! It just sort of happened.”

Nozomi hums.

“Love has a weird way of doing that.” She says with a nod. “But what do you love about her?”

Nico hesitates. There’s a lot she could say for this question. It isn’t just a single thing, more like a compilation of little things.

“I love a lot of things about her,” She eventually begins, “I love her personality. Even if she is a little timid and doesn’t have a lot of confidence in herself some times, if she’s determined, she’ll do her best to succeed. She’s cute- not just her looks, but everything about her is cute. She’s great to talk with, she always makes sure you know she’s listening to you and she’s serious about idols. She may even rival me when it comes to how much we know about the business.”

Nico thinks about her junior and a small smile forms on her face. All the time spent with her, conversations they’ve shared, every little detail that brought them closer together and strengthened their friendship were also little things that helped Nico fall for her in the first place. She misses the gentle smiles both Eli and Nozomi stare at her with. She speaks in a soft tone as she continues.

“I love the way she laughs. The way her eyes light up when she see’s something she loves, or hears something good about muse. I love how she shouts “BIG NEWS!” when there’s been an update on Love Live, or anything in general really. I love all of these and I love all of her.”

Eli sniffles a bit and Nico looks over to see her wiping away a tear.

“Eh?! Are you crying?!” She’s a mixture of embarrassed and proud of the little detail and Eli doesn’t try to deny it.

“I-I don’t mean to! It’s just so sweet.” She sighs a bit and smiles, “It’s nice, seeing how happy loving her makes you.”

Nico almost buries her face into her hands to hide her embarrassment.

“It really is, isn’t it?” Nozomi giggles and looks at Eli, “and you wrote all of it down, right Elichi?”

Eli holds up a piece of paper Nico hadn’t noticed and winks.

“Every word.”

Nico almost screams.

“You wrote it all down?! What the hell?!” She stands up flustered, reaching over to Eli and grabbing the paper. She scans Eli’s point form notes of the confession and she feels her face heat up. 

“It’s to help you, Nicocchi!” Nozomi laughs, “If you can say all of this outloud, you shouldn’t have a problem with putting it on paper, right?”

Nico swears she can hear a heavenly chorus. There’s a golden glow surrounding Nozomi, making her think nothing less of an angelic angel; maybe even a beautiful goddess like Muse's namesakes. Nico reaches over and grabs Nozomi’s hands into her own, looking her dead in the face and saying her thoughts proudly.

“You’re a genius and if I could, I’d kiss you right now.”

Nozomi’s eyes practically light up and Eli coughs. Nico laughs.

“Geeze Eli, I’m kidding. Besides, I should be kissing you since you wrote down all of this great content that just came out of my mouth. I won’t, because that’d be weird, but I’d kiss you if it wasn’t.”

Eli’s cheeks redden and Nozomi lets out a small, disappointed hum (Nico wants to assume it’s because she joked about kissing Eli instead of her, but she knows Nozomi’s probably disappointed there’s no kissing at all. ) She rereads everything Eli’s written down carefully before reaching into her bag and pulling out a piece of pink stationery. Lining the outsides of it is a pattern of a bunny silhouette and tiny pink hearts. It’s Nico’s favourite, and the perfect kind to use for something as important as this.

“Okay. I think I have the right idea.” Nico grabs her pencil and without any more hesitation, she begins to write on the dotted lines of the paper.

Nozomi and Eli busy themselves with light conversation, not wanting to distract Nico from her writing. Lunch is nearing its end and the girl is determined to finish this before heading back to class. She needs to finish it now. It has to be slipped into Hanayo’s shoe locker before practice starts. She’s glad that no matter the speed of her writing, it’s always perfectly legible- and quite adorable, if she’s truly honest. Practicing to have the cutest writing in grade 3 had perfect, lasting impressions.

By the time she reaches the end of the letter, she hesitates. It’s time for her to write her name. She swallows, hard, her pencil hovering above the bottom of the paper. This would seal the letters fate. She could leave it anonymous, leave Hanayo guessing who left the letter in her locker and have her ponder endlessly until she either figured it out or Nico decided enough was enough- but then what would be the point of the love letter? Nico didn’t want to make this anonymous. She wanted Hanayo to know her true feelings, and know that it’s her who has been nothing but blessed with falling in love with her.

That thought alone makes Nico sign the bottom of the paper, and for an added touch she doodles a small heart and a tiny “nico nico nii” next to it. 

“Nico, I’m sorry but lunch is almost over,” Eli’s voice has a hint of worry to it, but Nico looks up with a triumphant smile.

“Guess that means I made the deadline~” She grins, holding the letter out to her. “Well, tell me what you think.”

Eli gingerly takes it from her, reading it. She nods at some parts and Nico watches as her smile grows wider. She hands the paper off to Nozomi when she’s finished reading and turns to Nico, giving her a wink and a thumbs up.

“It’s perfect!”

Nico silently pats herself on the back and Nozomi laughs.

“It is. It’s very much like Nicocchi too. I’d expect nothing less than this.” Nozomi hands the paper back to Nico and grins. “Looks like the hardest part is over.”

Nico sighs in relief. 

“Thank god. Now all I have to do is put it in her locker before practice.” 

Eli wants to add a thought in, but the bell signalling the end of lunch rings and her thoughts are pushed to the side. Nico quickly folds the letter up and puts it into a matching envelope. She doesn’t seal it as she slips it into her bag and she follows Nozomi and Eli as they stand from their chairs. 

“Good luck with your letter, Nico.” Eli says with a smile. 

“Thanks,” Nico returns the smile, “I’ll need it.”

The three of them laugh as they exit the club room and head towards their classrooms for the second half of the school day.

* * *

  
Fifteen minutes left in class and Nico’s having a small breakdown. Her English work means nothing right now, the most important moment of the day is approaching and Nico isn’t so sure she’s as prepared as she thought she was. She’s never felt so anxious before; not even before her very first live at Otonokizaka.

She reaches into her bag and pulls out the envelope. There’s no harm in being certain your love letter is perfect, right? And it wasn’t like she had the chance to proofread it herself during lunch- she was a little behind by the time she was able to begin writing it. Her eyes carefully scan the letter over and over again, double and triple checking that everything is written perfectly and that her mess of words actually got her feelings across. She fails to notice the girls around her packing up their books and getting ready to leave class. The teacher calls for everyones attention, but Nico ignores it as she checks over the letter one last time. 

The end of day bell rings and Nico’s brought back to reality. Startled by the chime, Nico hurriedly gathers all her things. She quickly seals up the envelope, not giving it a second thought as she turns it around and scribbles the kanji for Hanayo’s name. She’s determined to get it downstairs and inside of Hanayo’s shoe locker, while still being on time to make it to the club room with the rest of the gang. She haphazardously throws all her books and loose papers into her school bag before making a mad dash out of the class. 

On her way down the hall, she notices Eli give her a quick thumbs up. She returns it with a small smile as she excuses herself past a couple of girls, weaving her way by them and dashing down the stairs. She clutches the cute stationary in her hands like her life depends on it, not wanting to lose the important letter. The letter that contains her most heartfelt feelings towards her junior. 

By the time Nico makes it to the bottom, her breathing is incredibly heavy.  A few students look her way, worried about her current state, but she waves them off and tells them she’s fine. She moves as quickly as any winded girl can towards the entrance and the shoe lockers, heading straight for the row with Hanayo’s. She scans each number on the shoe compartments with careful eyes, not wanting to mistake the numbers.

“216…. 220... “ she mumbles to herself as she glances at the numbers. “Ah! 223!” 

She swallows the nervous lump in her throat as she reaches the exact locker she needs to be at. With shaky hands, she pulls the door open carefully. Inside it, Hanayo’s outdoor shoes sit on the bottom level, neatly placed next to one another and not a single detail out of place. It’s very cute; very much like her. Nico shakes her head before placing it down on the pair of brown shoes before shutting the locker tightly. She glances up to the clock and sighs in relief when it reads only a few minutes have gone by since she made her mad dash down the stairs.

“Now.. to climb back up them.” 

Nico groans as she makes her way back inside the building and towards the closest staircase.

* * *

“Great practice today, everybody!” Umi calls out to the group. “We’ve all been working really hard on our steps lately, so I think tomorrow we should all take the time to memorize the new lyrics. Does that work for everyone?”

A chorus of “Yes!” comes from the group. Umi smiles and dismisses everyone for the day. Nico immediately goes for her towel, picking it up and wiping the sweat off her brow. There’s a nudge from her right side and she glances to see Nozomi peeking at her with curious eyes. Nico frowns.

“What?” She asks in a flat tone. 

“Oh nothing~. Just wondering how dropping off the ‘you know what’ went.” She gives Nico a tiny wink and Nico immediately leans in to shush her.

“S-shut up! It went fine! What else did you think would happen?!”

Nozomi laughs and shrugs.

“Dunno.” She turns her gaze over to their juniors to see Hanayo talking with Maki about today's practice. Nico’s gaze follows hers and her eyes soften. Her heart jumps in her chest and she reaches up, absentmindedly clenching it.

“Don’t worry Nicocchi.” Nozomi says quietly. “I’m sure your feelings will reach her through that letter. You worked hard on it during lunch time, after all.”

Nico nods. She wishes there’s more she could do, but it’s all up to her letter now. She hopes that maybe Hanayo will text her later after reading it, or will ask to meet up to give her a proper response. There’s so many ways this could go, the thought of having to wait to find out stresses Nico out just a bit more than the idea of confessing to the girl face to face. 

“Hey Nicocchi,” Nozomi says in a whisper close to her ear. “If we hurry up, maybe we can watch Hanayo-chan get the letter from her locker.”

Nico’s head whips to the side, her pigtails smacking Nozomi in the face. The idea pieces itself together inside her brain and she shouts.

“WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?!” She grabs Nozomi by the wrist and drags her to the door, calling back to their third comrade, “ELI, HURRY UP! YOU’RE WALKING WITH US, RIGHT?!”

Nozomi’s laughing as Nico pulls her through the door to the stairs and Eli sighs, saying goodbye to the girls and quickly following the two of them off the rooftop. 

“Why exactly do we need to hurry?!” She asks, looking to Nozomi for an answer. 

“Nicocchi wants to watch the magical moment happen.” Nozomi explains with a cheeky grin, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious as well.”

Nico’s face feels warm but she says nothing as they reach the club room. They grab their uniforms and it doesn’t take the three of them long to change out of their practice clothes and back into them. Nico doesn’t bother tying her ribbon up nicely as she hoists her bag over her shoulder and waits impatiently by the door.

Once the other two have finished, Nico leads the way down the halls and to the school’s entrance. She ignores the increasing butterflies that build up more and more in the pit of her stomach. Thanks to the adrenaline from practice, it feels like nothing more than a light tickle, but she knows the moment Hanayo opens that  locker door she’ll be feeling the full force of her anxieties. 

The three of them settle in the perfect spot in the aisle next to the one with Hanayo’s locker. Nico stands between both of her friends, biting her lip and pushing all the thoughts that seem too hopeful out of her mind. She reminds herself that it’s a love letter, Hanayo might not read it until she gets home and even then, there’s no telling what her reaction might be. Maybe Nico will be rejected. Maybe Hanayo won’t want to be anything more than friends. Maybe she’s already dating somebody else Nico doesn’t know of (a silly thought, she realizes, because Hanayo keeps no secrets from muse, and  they both know being an idol and having a lover has its problems .)

Voices can be heard in the distance and Nico can feel both Nozomi and Eli shifting closer to her in their excitement. Eli’s hand is comfortingly resting on her shoulder while Nozomi has linked her arm with Nico’s. This is it. The moment of truth is right before their eyes. Nico swallows nervously.

Rin and Hanayo step into the school entrance, discussing the English homework they’d been given. The older girls are so quiet that not a breath can be heard from any of them. Rin’s voice becomes a bit distant as she heads to her locker all the way at the end of the row, near the exit. Nico shuts her eyes tightly and the sound of Hanayo opening the door to her own echos in her ears. 

“Eh?” Hanayo startles. “H-huh.. Whats this..?!”

Nico’s lips form a thin line and her face heats up even more. She’s hyper aware of the way Nozomi and Eli tense up with her; how all three of them stand as still as possible. She can hear the way Hanayo turns over the envelope and how she reads out her own name to herself. Nico shuts her eyes tightly and waits as the moment reaches its peak: would Hanayo open the envelope now? Or later?

“R-Rin-chan!” Hanayo calls out immediately, “R-Rin-chan!!!”

“Kayo-chin?!” Rin shouts back, followed by fast approaching footsteps. “What’s up!? What’s wro- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?!”

“I-I DON’T KNOW!” Hanayo cries, “IT’S ADDRESSED TO ME!”

“KAYO-CHIN, IS THAT A LOVE LETTER?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!”

It’s almost comical, the reactions the two of them have. If Nico weren’t so nervous, she’d be laughing about this. She feels the weight of Eli’s hand lift off her shoulder and her eyes glance to her, watching her cover her mouth and shake a little bit. She nudges Eli playfully and the girl only tries to stifle her laughs more.

“Geeze, you two are loud. What’s gotten you both so riled up?” A voice comes from the hall. 

“MAKI-CHAN, IT’S BIG NEWS!” Rin exclaims, stealing the popular catchphrase from Hanayo, “KAYO-CHIN FOUND A LETTER IN HER LOCKER!”

“Eh?!” Maki’s voice seems surprised and the third years listen as her footsteps move closer to the other three.

Nico wishes she could see Hanayo’s expression right now.

“Koizumi Hanayo,” Maki reads the front of the envelope.”W-well, it’s certainly a letter for you alright.”

“Right?! This is amazing! Kayo-chin, you gotta open it!” Rin’s voice is bubbly and you can tell she’s got a slight bounce in her posture as she speaks.

“N-now?! B-but.. But I can’t.. it.. it wouldn’t be right to read it right now, would it?!” 

“Rin, you can’t just ask Hanayo to read something personal right here in front of us.” Maki scolds.

Nico silently thanks Maki for stopping everyone from seeing the confession. It isn’t that it’s badly written- Nico poured her whole heart into it. It’s the highest quality love letter around. But, as great as it is, it's meant for one person’s eyes only (A silly thought, she realizes, when she remembers she had Eli and Nozomi proof read it.)

“Aww, but the flaps already opening up, see?” 

‘Stupid cheap stationery.’ Nico almost grumbles.

“Eh?! Oh no! It is!” Hanayo sounds distressed. “I-I’ll just reseal it-”

Her voice cuts off and there’s an awkward silence from the other side of the shoe lockers. Nico glances to Eli and Nozomi in confusion and the both of them wear an expression that mirrors her own. Suddenly, Rin shouts so loudly that Nico’s positive all the clubs outside can hear her.

“IT’S EMPTY?!?!”

Nico’s eyes widen. Nozomi and Eli look at her bewildered as she starts quietly rummaging through her bag. She hands various textbooks and notebooks for both Eli and Nozomi to hold as she digs deeper into the bag. Sure enough, as she pulls out her English notebook, a corner of paper that matches the envelope the first years currently have peeks out at her. Nico tugs at it carefully and clutches it with a shaky hand as her face goes pale and her heart sinks. Staring her right in the face is her confession. The single most important detail of the love letter.

Nico wants to cry.

“Who would just put an empty envelope in your locker?!” Rin asks, her voice a mixture of offended and astonished.

“An idiot.” Maki says, and you can tell she wears an unhappy expression. “Don’t pay any mind to it Hanayo. This is a low prank.”

“You think it’s a prank?!” Rin’s horrified when she asks, not wanting to assume the worst like Maki has. 

“W-well, what else could it be?!” Maki retorts. Nico can picture her arms are crossed and her fingers playing with her hair.

Hanayo hasn’t said anything in what feels like forever. Nico’s heart sinks imagining how hurt she must feel. There’s a nudge from the side Eli’s on and she glances to her taller friend. She points down the row and Nico turns just in time to see Nozomi walking out of their aisle and into the first years.

She almost yells.

“I was wondering what the commotion was~” Nozomi’s voice jumps in and Nico buries her face into her hands.

“Nozomi-chan!” Rin calls out to her. “Hey hey, come look at this!”

Eli and Nico listen as Nozomi’s footsteps get closer to the other girls.

“Hm? A love letter?!” She exclaims curiously.

“That’s what we thought too but it’s empty!!” Rin definitely sounds angry about this now, no thanks to Maki pointing out it could be a prank.

“Ahh… isn’t that something.” Nozomi responds.

“Uhm,” It’s the first time Hanayo’s spoken since they realized it was empty and Nico’s stomach tightens. “N-Nozomi-chan, you don’t… you don’t think this is a prank, do you?”

Her voice sounds hurt. Nico wants to punch herself in the face. Or smash it repeatedly into the lockers. How could she be so stupid and forget the actual letter? The cute envelope is nothing without the letter inside of it. This is a disaster.

“Mmm, well, it does seem that way doesn’t it?” Nozomi starts, “But Otonokizaka is full of sweet girls. I don’t think any of them would intentionally put an envelope in your locker without the letter.”

There’s a small silence from the other side.

“That’s true,” Hanayo says quietly. “Everyone I talk with here is so kind towards me.”

“Mhm. Plus, the school loves muse, don’t they?” Nozomi adds. “I think whoever gave this to you is just a little clumsy. They’re probably going to open their bag later and find the letter and feel pretty silly for forgetting to put it in the envelope.”

Nico can hear the smirk in Nozomi’s voice and she doesn’t know whether she should feel grateful or upset by the way she’s saving the situation.

Rin giggles a bit.

“That sounds kind of sad. Now I feel kinda bad for whoever gave Kayo-chin the empty envelope.” 

“I’m not convinced.” Maki states, still unimpressed by the situation. “But it’s not really my concern. Hanayo, what do you think?”

There’s a moment of pause before the timid girl speaks.

“I think Nozomi-chan might be right.” She says, “I really don’t think anyone would do a prank like this. N-not here, anyway, but uhm,” She pauses a bit, as if thinking of what to say next. “W-well, I am hoping that they aren’t too sad about it later.”

Nico’s heart soars. This girl is just too good. Way too good. Even now, after her confession letter failed, she still hopes that whoever attempted to confess to her isn’t feeling down about failing. Nico wishes she could tell her right now. She wishes she could pull the courage to run into the other row and shout her feelings to the world, but as she gazes at the piece of paper clutched in her hand, she’s reminded of how she got into the situation in the first place. She holds the letter closer to her and almost sighs.

“Hey, didn’t you leave earlier with Nico-chan?” Rin suddenly says.

Nico tenses again. 

“Ah, I did.” Nozomi replies with a laugh, “Nicocchi was so eager to leave, but thanks to that I forgot one of my books in class, so I came back to get it.”

‘Nice save, Nozomi.’ Nico thinks, with a mental thumbs up. 

“Oh! Well, tell her and Eli-chan we said hi then!” Rin laughs, “Maki-chan, Kayo-chin, are we all ready to go?”

“Just let me grab my outdoor shoes.” Maki says. 

The first years say goodbye to Nozomi, and Nico and Eli stay standing where they are until they hear the sounds of their footsteps walking out the entrance. Nico groans loudly and puts her head in her hands, the letter crumpling into her face as she accepts the fact that this confession is her biggest failure to date.

“What a mess.” She sighs. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice the letter wasn’t in the envelope.”

“How  _ did _ that end up happening?” Eli asks in surprise. “Nozomi and I watched you fold and put it in the envelope at lunch!”

“I know! I know but-” Nico removes her hands from her face and looks up to the blonde, a tiny blush on her face. “I wanted to go over it one last time and the end of class to make sure it was absolutely perfect, and then class was dismissed and I sort of panicked and sealed the envelope and shoved my books into my bag.”

“Nicocchi needs to be a little careful with her notes then.” Nozomi says with a laugh as she returns,  “Well, to be fair I may have seen this coming.”

Nico looks at Nozomi with squinted eyes.

“You KNEW it wouldn’t work!? And you let me embarrass myself?!” Nico exclaims, pushing herself onto her feet and glaring up at Nozomi.

“It was the cards, Nicocchi!” Nozomi laughs, “I may have done a reading for you before practice, and it wasn’t exactly the best outcome it could be but-”

“Wasn’t exactly?! Nozomi, I listened to Hanayo find an empty envelope from me in her locker! I think it’s far from the best outcome!” Nico’s voice is loud and Eli reaches out and pats Nico’s head reassuringly.

“There there Nico, it’s not like you won’t have other opportunities to tell Hanayo how you feel.” She reassures. “Nozomi, did your cards imply something else would happen if the letter failed?”

Nozomi smiles and shrugs. Nico feels a strong urge to crumple the letter in her hands into a small ball and throw it at the girl’s dimpled face. Eli sighs.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” She rubs the back of her neck and adjusts her bag on her shoulder. “Nico, would you like to join us for parfaits?”

“Thanks, but I think I’m going to go home for the day.” The shorter girl grumbles, folding the letter up and slipping it back into her bag. 

“Hey, look on the bright side of this,” Eli attempts to bring up her mood by throwing in a positive thought, “With the letter not working, you can always try something more direct.”

“Mhm!” Nozomi says, looping her arm with one of Nico’s and adding onto Eli’s point. “Maybe you can invite her over to your place and watch some of those Lives you’ve got on dvd. We all know how you and Hanayo-chan love them.”

“Yeah, maybe.” 

“And maybe you’ll be able to read out the letter to her instea-” Nico cuts Nozomi off by elbowing her in the side. Nozomi laughs through the light pain as Nico walks away from her. 

“Nozomi,” Eli warns and Nozomi’s laughter ends, replaced with a teasing smile. Eli turns her attention to Nico and steps forward to walk with her. “In all honestly though, it does give you a lot more time to work on confessing to her again. A lot of people fail to get their first confession across, and even I had my own struggles with confessing to Nozomi.

“Wait, really?” Nico’s a bit intrigued. She knew the story of how Eli confessed, but she hadn’t known Eli struggled to tell her girlfriend her feelings.

“Of course! It took me months before I could even ask Nozomi out, and I think I was finally able to tell her on the fourth attempt.”

Nozomi says a little “aw” as she catches up with the two of them, walking on Nico’s other side. Eli laughs as her cheeks tint red again and Nico’s attention goes from Eli to the open space in front of them. Knowing that even Eli had a tough time telling Nozomi her feelings gives her a bit of hope, and while Eli probably didn’t fail as badly with her confessions as Nico did today, she knows Eli has the right idea.

“Thanks Eli.” Nico says sincerely.

Eli smiles.

“So, does this mean you’re not giving up on telling Hanayo-chan you love her?” Nozomi asks.

Nico nods.

“Of course it does! It’d be dumb to give up in the first place, especially after today,” Nico starts, “If Eli didn’t give up on telling you her feelings, then there’s no way I can give up on telling Hanayo! I’ll tell her exactly how I feel no matter what!”

“Harasho!” Eli cheers, “That’s the spirit, Nico!”

“We’ll be rooting for you, Nicocchi! Do your best!” Nozomi adds.

Today really didn’t go as planned for Nico, but with nothing but determination and the promise of getting her feelings across to Hanayo, Nico’s confident the next attempt will be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and leaving comments and/or kudos! Every bit of feed back means a lot to me ;w;!


	3. House Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico invites Hanayo over to her place for a rather spontaneous hang out to watch idol dvds; but instead it's spent playing with Hanayo playing with her siblings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow am I ever four months late with this update. Thank you everyone for being so patient! This chapter was very difficult to write for a number of reasons, but I finally, finally am satisfied with it and I hope you guys like it too! Special shout out to Bandit for betaing for me, I love u and I wouldn't be able to post this now without your help!
> 
> That being said, please excuse any typos and or grammatical errors that may have been missed ;w;!

Nico yawns loudly as she walks down the street towards the shrine. Friday morning practices aren’t her favourite, but they’re necessary. Her steps are heavy and she rubs her eyes with the back of her hand, trying to get the sleep out of them. She briefly thinks about what she might have to make for dinner for her family, remembering all the different groceries she saw in the fridge earlier that morning. She stops at the crosswalk and ponders her choices.

“Might have to settle for omelette rice again.” She thinks out loud, recalling that there isn’t much else she can work with off the top of her head.

“Omelette rice?” A voice from beside her repeats and Nico almost jumps in surprise. She turns to her side to see Hanayo standing next to her, bag slung over her shoulder and a small smile on her face. She gives Nico a small wave and giggles a little.

“Sorry, Nico-chan, did I startle you?” she asks.

“Surprisingly, you did.” Nico exhales and returns her smile. “Good morning, Hanayo.”

“Good morning!” She returns the greeting. “Were you talking to yourself just now?”

Nico frowns at her and Hanayo giggles again. If Nico didn’t love this girl so much, she might just reach out and pinch her cheeks a little. Her cute, round cheeks. Nico bets they’re probably really soft. She shakes the thought from her mind and answers the younger girl.

“No, not really. Just thinking out loud.” She says, “I was wondering about what to make for dinner later tonight.”

“Oh!” Hanayo’s eyes light up and she beams, “And you’re gonna make omelette rice?”

“Well, maybe.” She shrugs and starts walking when the cross walk light prompts them to go. “I don’t think Cocoro, Cocoa and Cotarou want to eat it two days in a row, so I may have to get a little creative with it. They’re pretty picky sometimes.”

Hanayo hums in understanding and walks side by side with Nico. 

“That sounds like it can be difficult for you on some days.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” Nico sighs, “I love them to death, but if their taste buds would just widen a little, and I didn’t have to trick Cotarou to eat his vegetables more, cooking would be so much easier.”

The younger girl giggles and a small smile grows on Nico’s face. This is nice, but it is a little weird. Not because of the mood, but because Hanayo is here. They live in complete opposite areas, so seeing Hanayo walking to practice from the same direction she is feels a bit off. Nico’s smile soon disappears and she eyes Hanayo carefully.

“It’s odd for you to be all the way over here before practice,” she comments, and Hanayo stiffens a bit. Nico smirks and prods for more information. “What brings you to this side of town so early in the morning?”

“N-nothing! Nothing really!” There’s an embarrassed blush on her cheeks and Nico nudges her playfully.

“You can’t hide it from me, Ha-na-yo!” She states, emphasizing the syllables of her name playfully. Hanayo sighs.

“You’re right Nico-chan, I can’t.” She mutters with a frown, “I woke up early and came over here because I heard that the idol shop had a copy of the DDD box set for sale.”

Nico’s eyes widen. Had she missed the recent email blast of new products?! She could have sworn she read over it yesterday after dinner, but she doesn’t recall seeing anything about new box sets being in stock. Judging by Hanayo’s expression, she wasn’t so lucky either. They begin climbing the steps to the shrine and Hanayo adjusts her bag on her shoulder.

“Turns out I misread the email and there aren’t any new DVDs, just a few new audio CDs that I already have thanks to preorders.”  

Hanayo looks incredibly bummed about the fact she didn’t get the chance to buy the DVDs. Nico hums in understanding and her mind races to try and find ideas or solutions to cheer Hanayo up. She could possibly offer up one of her box sets for Hanayo to borrow. She trusts her enough to take care of the discs and watch them with as much enthusiasm as she would. That seems like a good enough plan.

And like a strike of lightning, Nico’s hit with an even better idea; the best idea she’s had all week. 

“You know, I have two of those box sets at home.” Nico starts, already patting herself on the back for her ingenious idea.

“Y-yes, I remember.” Hanayo mutters wistfully, remembering her first day in the club room and the cosmic moment between her and Nico’s third copy of said box set.

“Well, it’s been weeks since I’ve watched them.” She has a grin brighter than the stars as red eyes meet mauve. “If you’d like, you can come hang out and watch them with me. The DVDs are a lot more fun when you’ve got people to watch them with, after all.”

Hanayo stops halfway up the steps, and her eyes sparkle with so much excitement and hope that Nico’s positive she just made this girl’s day, maybe even her life.

“Really?!” she asks in an awestruck voice, “Y-you’re inviting me over to watch them?!”

“That’s right! Hanayo, you’re the lucky first member of Muse who will come to my house to watch the DVDs with me!” Nico boasts as if it’s the highest honour anyone in their friend group can receive.

Hanayo reacts exactly as she hopes. Her smile widens. She climbs up the steps until she’s on the same one as Nico and gives her a smile so pure that Nico’s sure she can hear angels singing in the distance. Nico blinks when she realizes she actually  _ can _ hear singing, and she turns up towards the top of the stairs, where the sound comes from.

“Is that Eli-chan?” Hanayo asks, reassuring Nico she’s not the only one who can hear her.

“It sounds like her...” Nico’s voice trails off and the two of them climb the remaining steps to the shrine, where they find Eli practicing some new lyrics with Maki.

Maki nods her head as Eli finishes her song, and the two of them fall into a small discussion. Next to them Rin and Kotori are stretching together, and Rin waves excitedly when she makes eye contact with Hanayo.

“Kayo-chin! Nico-chan! You made it!” she shouts, catching everyone else’s attention. 

“Good morning Rin-chan,” Hanayo says with a smile as she turns to everyone else. “Good morning!”

“Morning Hanayo-chan! Morning Nico-chan!” Kotori replies with a smile. “Looks like almost everyone is here now!”

“We aren’t late, are we?” Hanayo asks with a bit of worry. Eli shakes her head with a smile.

“Nozomi’s almost done her shrine duties, so she’ll be a bit late, but other than that we’re still waiting on Honoka.”

“I’ve received a message from her.” Umi says from the other side of Kotori and Rin, her lyric book in one hand and a pencil in the other. “For once, the problem wasn’t over-sleeping, but she’ll explain it better when she gets here, I imagine.”

There’s a collective murmur of agreement and since they arrived together, Nico and Hanayo decide to do their stretches with each other. They had wandered off-topic after getting distracted by Eli’s singing, so Nico reminds Hanayo of their half planned out evening.

“Can we meet in front of the school after class, Hanayo?” Nico asks, bringing her arm over her head and stretching it out. 

“S-sounds great to me, Nico-chan!” Hanayo replies. “Will you need to stop by the store?”

“Mhm, but it shouldn’t be long. I think I’ll be able to find something quick and easy to make for the kids so that I don’t have to spend too much time cooking in the kitchen.”

Overhearing their conversation, Rin decides to join in.

“You guys are going to the store together?” she asks curiously, bright eyes watching as Nico gets on the ground and spreads her legs. Hanayo gently pushes against her back and nods to Rin.

“Yeah! Nico-chan invited me over to her house tonight to watch DDD!” She responds with so much enthusiasm and excitement! Nico can feel how hot her cheeks get and the way Rin’s eyes focus on her in mild surprise. Is it that absurd Nico’s inviting her precious underclassman, who loves idols as much as she does, over to watch some good, wholesome idol performances? Well, it might be a little shocking because she’s never exactly invited her friends to come over before, so she can sort of understand why Rin’s eyes look shocked. A smile soon grows on the short-haired girl’s face and Nico glances away from it.

“Aw, really?! That sounds like it’s gonna be a lot of fun, nya~” she giggles. Nico’s embarrassed expression soon becomes a smug one.

“Of course! A true idol enthusiast like Hanayo will have the greatest time watching them.” Nico exclaims, sitting herself up properly and switching positions with Hanayo. “I just hope we have enough time to watch all the best performances.”

“Are there a lot?” Rin asks curiously, stepping closer to them and watching as Nico gently pushes against Hanayo to help her stretch. Rin is definitely missing the way Nico’s blush deepens and she’s grateful the first year is oblivious to it.

“Of course! It’s a whole season of competition, Rin-chan!” Hanayo explains. “We probably won’t even scratch the surface of it all tonight…” 

“We definitely won’t. I mean, even if we had a spontaneous sleepover it’d take at least two full days to watch every single episode.” Nico rambles a bit, and the thought of having a sleepover with only Hanayo sounds like it could be one of the greatest things in the world, but Nico knows better than to do that. Her mother wouldn’t really appreciate two teenage girls cheering at three AM when there are three small children sleeping in the room down the hall. For now, the sleepover is a distant dream, but the thought of it forms butterflies inside her.

“Mhm,” Hanayo agrees with her, “It just means we’d have to wait to continue until Nico-chan and I want to watch them again.”

Nico resists the urge to tell Hanayo she can come over any time to watch the DVDs with her. As much as she’d like that, it’d be a little awkward inviting her over any time she wants in front of their other friends. She lets go of Hanayo and helps her to her feet. Hanayo dusts the bits of dirt sticking to her pants while Rin gives a small chuckle.

“Rin still thinks it sounds like it’ll be a lot of fun, even if you can only watch a little bit.” 

“Thanks, Rin-chan!” 

The first years become lost in their own conversation as Nico and Hanayo separate from each other and begin to do some final arm and leg stretches. Nico watches as Hanayo brings one of her arms up and bends it behind her back, using her other hand to hold her elbow and stretch the upper arm muscle. Rin chats idly with her and she listens closely. Nico takes in her soft expression as Rin recalls yesterday night’s events to her. The two really are the best of friends and Nico can admit that she is a bit envious that Rin knows Hanayo so well. Maybe one day, if her confession is successful, she’ll be as close to Hanayo as Rin is. It’s a small thought, but it makes her feel excited.

The sound of footsteps and heavy breathing can be heard and a tired Honoka comes into view, panting heavily and staggering towards the small group. Umi calls out her name worriedly and Honoka brushes off her and Kotori’s concern with a small laugh as she begins to explain to them how their dog escaped from his doghouse earlier that morning. Nico and Rin laugh and Hanayo smiles apologetically at the tired-looking second year, and soon Nozomi is joining the rest of them, her training clothes on and ready for what their practice might bring them.

* * *

The day passes by quickly, and Nico doesn’t keep Hanayo waiting too long at the front of the school. The girls talk excitedly back and forth about the upcoming evening they plan to have together, and Nico explains the way she’s rated each of the idol groups that perform in her own personal scale. Hanayo listens intently and takes mental notes on the things Nico looks for and in turn she talks to Nico about things she likes to look for when it comes to idols. Nico enjoys the way they’re able to compare what they each find is very important to each of the different groups that showcase their talents.

It’s nice- Hanayo’s the only one she’s able to talk with who has an in-depth understanding of the idol business. They’re almost equals when it comes to the amount of knowledge each of them have. And it’s a lot different, talking to Hanayo about idols. She’s full of so much confidence and she pays attention to every detail and every word in the conversation. When she agrees, it’s always with a bright smile and her own comments on what she thinks, and when she disagrees, it’s passionate. She makes sure to explain why she sees it the way she does and Nico can’t help but pay attention. Hanayo’s opinions on idols are invaluable; a treat for the ears compared to the nasty opinions of the gross boys on the forums she frequents.

A quick stop at the store is made, where Nico picks up a few things to fix for dinner. What was originally omelette rice becomes pancakes with homemade whipped cream and strawberries. The teenage girls are satisfied in their choice for dinner that evening. It’s quick to make and an easy clean up, and it isn’t always that Nico’s siblings are treated to a fun meal. Hanayo insisted on getting the berries to make it even tastier, despite Nico’s protests. Fruit can be very expensive, but Hanayo doesn’t seem to mind. 

When they arrive home, Nico opens the door with ease and calls out to the apartment.

“I’m home! We have a guest, so I hope you’re all being good!”

“BIG SIS!” Two excited shouts are heard and Nico hears a small giggle from Hanayo as the sounds of two pairs of feet run to them. Nico puts her bags down and kneels down as her sisters charge towards the door, both of them tightly wrapping their arms around her once they reach her. Nico laughs and pats their heads and soon slower footsteps approach the small group.

“Big Sis.” Cotarou says, a little delayed.

After pulling away from them and standing up properly, their attention zones in on Hanayo. Hanayo feels a little embarrassed under all three gazes and she glances away nervously. Nico smiles to her siblings and gestures to Hanayo.

“Kids, this is Koizumi Hanayo. She’s one of my friends from school,” she says with a grin. “Big Sis invited her over to play, but we’ll be playing after dinner, okay?”

“Ehh, but after dinner Mama makes us have our bath.” Cocoa replies with a pouty expression. “We can’t play with you then!”

Before Nico can reply, Cocoro speaks up.

“Cocoa, they want to play together, not with us,” she explains, a little disheartened. Understanding what Nico meant, her mouth makes a small ‘o’ shape before becoming a frown. Even Cotarou’s face falls knowing they won’t be able to play too, and Nico stiffens.

“N-now come on, Big Sis doesn’t always bring friends over, and to be honest the playing also has a lot of work involved. You see, Koizumi-san is working to be a great idol just like me, so part of what we’re doing will be helping her become as great as Big Sis is.” 

The kids seem to understand, but are still disappointed with Nico’s answer. She sighs, not knowing what to tell them to improve their mood. She could spoil the surprise of dinner, but she knows it’ll be nicer for them to get to the table and see the pancakes themselves. She ponders a few different ideas, but she has nothing until Hanayo speaks up.

“How about I play with the kids while you make dinner, Nico-chan?” Hanayo suggests. The children perk up and their eyes sparkle, liking the idea already. Nico looks at her with a concerned gaze.

“Are you sure?”

Hanayo gives a short nod and a soft smile at to her. 

“I don’t mind at all! Would you guys like to play with me while Nico-chan cooks?” Hanayo turns her attention to the little kids and Cocoa nods with a lot of enthusiasm.

“We’d love to play with you!” She says in a loud voice. “Right Cocoro?!”

Cocoro smiles and to emphasize her excitement, she grabs ahold of Hanayo’s hand and tugs a little bit. 

“Come this way!”

Hanayo barely has time to stumble out of her shoes as she’s dragged off into the living room with Nico’s younger siblings. Cotarou hesitates by the doorway, his toy mallet still in hand and looking down the hall where his sisters have taken their guest. Nico gives his hair a small ruffle and sends him off to play before she grabs all of the bags and takes them to the kitchen.

Nico discards her blazer and hangs it off the back of one of the chairs at the kitchen table, then picks up her apron that hangs on a hook near the fridge. She reaches around and ties it tightly to her, then rummages through the bags and sets the important ingredients out on the counter. Giggles echo from the other room into the kitchen and Nico smiles when she can hear Hanayo’s among them. She isn’t sure exactly what they’re up to, but she’s glad they’re having a good time.

As she begins to make dinner, her thoughts stray to how she should confess. It would probably happen towards the end of the night, when it’s time to walk Hanayo home. When they reached the halfway point they talked about walking to together, Nico would hand her the love letter from before and tell her to read it when she gets home, and that’d be all there is to it. It’s simple and easy, and she’d be sure to remember it this time around. 

She wonders for a short moment if saying the words might be better than giving her the letter. Her stomach tightens at the thought and she immediately knows that would only end in disaster- she isn’t ready to say anything like that out loud to her yet. It was hard enough saying it to Nozomi and Eli.

There’s a small shout of excitement from her youngest sister and Nico glances behind her to find one of her sisters scrambling into the room. She dashes past the table into the hallway towards the bathroom and Nico lifts an eyebrow, wondering what she’s up to. Not long after Cocoro walks in, pulling Cotarou along with her. Together they move underneath the table and Cotarou giggles. Cocoro shushes him gently. 

With the pancake batter made and the pan heating up on the stove, Nico takes a quick moment to find out what they’re up to. She kneels down and bends her head enough to peer under the tablecloth, looking directly at the backs of her little brother and sister.

“Hey. What are you doing?” she asks in a stern voice, watching Cocoro tense up quickly in surprise. She turns around fast and lifts a finger to her lips, shushing her immediately.

“SHH! We’re playing hide and seek!”

“Ah-” Nico wants to make another comment but from the other room she can hear Hanayo reach the number ten, and call out loudly to the kids.

“Ready or not, here I come!” 

“Big Sis, go! You’ll give us away!” Cocoro lightly pushes at Nico and with a dejected frown she stands up properly, going back to her cooking and shaking her head. 

She feels a bit envious that the kids all get to hide and be found by Hanayo, but she knows if they really want to they can all play together another day. She glances to the side when she sees Hanayo stumble into the kitchen and glance around the area. Nico offers her a small smile and Hanayo blushes faintly and returns it.

“Have you seen any of the kids?” she asks her curiously. Nico almost glances under the table to see the expressions of the two that sit there, but she knows it’ll give away their position. She gives a half-hearted shrug as she flips a pancake.

“Sorry Hanayo, I’ve been so focused on dinner that I haven’t noticed anything.” She smiles at how golden brown and perfect the round cake is in the frying pan and she mentally pats herself on the back.

“That’s okay, I’ll keep looking!” Hanayo turns to move down the hall, but pauses in her footsteps at the sound of one of the chairs shifting. “Maybe I should check under the table first…”

Nico watches from the corner of her eye as Hanayo takes a step closer to the table and kneels down a bit, lifting a portion of the tablecloth up slowly and surprising the two kids under the table.

“Ah!” she exclaims with a laugh. “Found you!” 

Cocoro giggles and Cotarou makes a sound of protest. The two of them climb out from under it and stand in front of her. Cotarou’s nose is a bit runny and he tries to use his sleeve to wipe it up, but Cocoro beats him to it with a tissue she grabs off of the table. 

“Will you two help me find Cocoa-chan now?” Hanayo asks with a voice as sweet as honey. Cocoro and Cotarou nod and Nico doesn’t stop the tiny smile that forms as she watches Cotarou take her hand and Cocoro lead her down the hallway.

She puts the finished pancake on a plate and begins to cook another one. It isn’t long before she hears Cocoa yell in surprise and Cotarou call out “found you!” She guesses that they’re playing another round when Cocoa and Hanayo emerge from the hallway alone, Cocoa leading her through the apartment. She looks around the kitchen exasperatedly before dashing over to Nico.

“Sis! Where can Koizumi-san hide?!” She asks urgently, tugging on the bottom of her apron. Nico lifts her arm a bit and gives a warning glare to her younger sister, and without saying anything the small girl takes a step back from the hot stove and waits closer to Hanayo.

“Cocoa, I can’t help you, I’m not in the game.” Nico explains in a firm voice. “Big Sis is cooking, so you have to help her on your own, okay?” 

“But only you know the really, really good hiding spots!” Cocoa pouts, looking worriedly to the hallway. “Please?! We’re running out of time!”

Nico sighs and shakes her head, deciding to say the first thing that pops into her head.

“If you want to hide together, you can go into the bath.” 

“That’s where I was before!” Cocoa retorts. “Aahh, we don’t have time! Quick, let’s go under the table!” 

Hanayo lets out a small squeak and Nico almost snorts as she can hear the chairs shifting as Cocoa drags her underneath the safety of the tablecloth. The counting in the distance is finished and almost everything falls completely silent, aside from Nico as she continues to cook the pancakes. She hums contently as the smell of the fluffy cakes wafts through the kitchen.

It isn’t long before the two seekers find the hidden girls and they shout in surprise. They decide to make the count to find each other a little longer and Nico listens to the tiny group as she works diligently on cooking the pancakes. She puts the cooked ones in a pan in the oven to keep them warm while she finishes using up the batter she’s made. In that time, she’s heard the kids cry out excitedly whenever they’re found, and even Hanayo occasionally sounds a bit startled when she’s discovered.

Once the pancakes are finished, Nico quickly whips together some homemade whipped cream and begins to plate the fluffy cakes, using the berries as garnish for each ones. She carefully slices up Cotarou’s into small bites on a puppy themed plate and gently blows on it to cool them down for the younger boy. After setting the plates on the kitchen table, Nico smiles contently at her job well done and calls out to everyone.

“Okay guys, supper is ready!” she declares, bringing her hands behind her back and untying her apron.

Four sets of footsteps move to the kitchen, Cocoa leading the way with Cocoro not far behind her. Hanayo and Cotarou are last as they walk in together, Cotarou holding onto Hanayo with one hand and his other clinging to his toy mallet. Nico doesn’t hide her smile- Hanayo looks really cute hanging out with her little siblings. Judging by the slight red to her cheeks and the gentle smile on her face, she’s had a really good time with them too. It’s a thought that makes Nico’s heart do somersaults in her chest.

Nico bends down to help Cotarou into his booster seat while Cocoa and Cocoro climb into their own chairs. Both of them gasp excitedly at the delicious and fluffy pancakes set before them. Their eyes sparkle as they wait for Nico and Hanayo to take their seats, not wanting to even touch their forks before the older girls sat down.

“Pancake!” Cotarou says, a little late as he realizes what’s on his plate in front of him. Nico laughs.

“That’s right! Big sis made perfect pancakes for all of you~” She grins and looks at Cocoro and Cocoa, “If you need me to help cut your pancakes let me know, okay? It’s okay if you can’t.” 

Stubbornly, Cocoa picks up her plastic knife with determination and lifts it.

“I can cut my pancakes on my own!” She announces. 

“Cocoa! Don’t play with your knife!” Cocoro scolds, glaring a little at her other sister.

Before Cocoa can retort, Nico interrupts.

“Cocoro is right, Cocoa. Don’t play with the knife, okay?” 

“Okaaay.”

Nico sighs a bit but her hunger is strong. She’s ready to demolish these pancakes and finish the dishes before her mom gets home. She looks to their guest, who watches her with a tender gaze. Nico’s heart flips again. Those eyes are so soft and her smile is so warm. Is that expression all from watching her take care of her siblings? Nico feels tempted to brag, telling Hanayo she knows she’s the best big sister in the world and she’s witnessed one of the many great things she does every day, but she bites her tongue. That would be for another day.

“Okay, everyone say the before-dinner prayer together,” Nico says, looking to her siblings. “Ready everyone?”

“Ready!” the younger girls say together, as Cotarou holds up his hands together.

Nico grins and together with Hanayo and her siblings, they speak.

“Thank you for the food!”

The hungry kids dig in almost immediately, Cocoro carefully using her knife to cut off a bite of her pancakes. Cocoa does almost the same thing, but instead cuts one of her pancakes into multiple pieces so she won’t have to pause between each bite to cut another. Hanayo and Nico do the same- slicing their cakes into a bunch of bites and eating contently. The cream isn’t too sweet and the cakes are cooked perfectly- the strawberries only add to the perfect flavour and it’s a delicious meal for the group.

Cotarou’s half way through his pancake before he starts playing with the other bites and Nico sighs. It’s inevitable- little kids his age would rather play than eat all of their dinner. She doesn’t go to scold him, since he seems to be having fun pushing it around the plate and isn’t making a huge mess. She smiles as her younger sisters stay completely silent as they enjoy every piece they eat.

Soon when dinner is almost finished, the sounds of the front door clicking open is heard and all four Yazawa kids are alert. 

“I’m home!” An older woman voices from the front door.

“Mama’s home!” Cocoro beams, almost ready to push herself out of her chair and run to greet her. Nico gives her a look and she decides against it, waiting for her mother to come into the room. It’s not a long wait- Mrs.Yazawa is there in no time and she smiles as she see’s all her children sitting politely at the table. 

“Looks like everyone’s enjoying dinner, hmm?” She notices Hanayo almost immediately and blinks, surprised. “Oh! And our guest!” She glances to Nico curiously while Hanayo blushes and begins to introduce herself.

“M-My name Is Koizumi Hanayo! I-I’m a friend of Nico-chan’s,” She mumbles.”T-Thank you for letting me visit your home today!”

The older woman smiles and chuckles.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Koizumi-san. Nico messaged me letting me know she was bringing a friend over, I hope you’ve had a great time in our house so far.”

“I-I have.” Hanayo smiles shyly at her.

Nico feels a bit embarrassed. She imagined her mother would be polite and great about meeting her friends but this? Way too good to be true, but also very formal. Of course, it really wouldn’t be anything but that, given this is her mother and her crush. She almost grins.

“Mama, I put your pancakes to the side!” Nico says, standing up and heading straight to the oven where she’s keeping her mother’s serving warm. She grabs the oven mitts and goes to pull them out, only to freeze when she realizes what she’s done.

She called her mother  _ Mama _ .  _ In front of the girl she likes _ ! This is too embarrassing. Nico’s tempted to put the pancakes on the table and climb into the oven and hope that Hanayo immediately forgets the fact she still calls her mother ‘Mama’. She swallows her embarrassment and puts some cream on the pancakes, adding the last of the strawberries and placing it in the empty spot where her mother sits.    
  
“Pancakes!” She exclaims. “What a surprise!”

“Yeah! Big Sis made them all for us!” Cocoa says, grinning at her mom. “They’re really, really good!”

“Did you girls help Big Sis make them?” her mother asks, carefully cutting her pancakes with her fork while also doing her best to make sure Cotarou doesn’t attempt to abandon his booster seat carelessly. 

“Nope, we played with Koizumi-san!” Cocoro replies. “It’s been a lot of fun!” 

“Oh! I’m certainly glad to hear that.” Nico’s mother looks at Hanayo with a warm smile. “I hope the younger kids didn’t give you too much of a rough time.”

“N-Not at all!” Hanayo replies almost immediately. “I have no siblings of my own, so it’s been a lot of fun playing games with them.”

They have a small conversation with each other but Nico finds it hard to pay attention to the topic. Hanayo can be quite timid around strangers, but she looks so calm and less anxious with her mother. Is it because she’s an adult? Nico wonders for a brief moment before her answer comes as she tunes back into the conversation.

“You really look just like Nico-chan. Or rather, Nico-chan looks just like you!”

Ah. That’s definitely why Hanayo isn’t as nervous. Nico’s mother laughs and she beams.

“She certainly did get her good looks from me, that’s for sure.” Her mother winks playfully and Nico feels the embarrassment creeping up on her. They really need to finish eating so there won’t be any more embarrassing situations to come from this. With that in mind Nico quickly shovels the last few bites of pancake into her mouth and swallows them as fast as humanly possible. After swallowing the bigger than average bite, she cuts into the conversation.

“All done! Anyone else finished?” she asks around the table.

“Meee.” Cotarou drawls out. She raises her eyebrow at him and he pushes around a bite of pancake in the pile of whipped cream on his plate. 

“Cotarou, eat a few more bites, okay? You didn’t eat a lot at breakfast either and you won’t grow into a big boy unless you make sure to eat more of your dinner.” It’s Nico’s mother that speaks, pointing to a couple of the smaller bites on his plate. “If you can eat those, Mama promises you’ll get an extra five minutes of play time in the tub before cleaning time, okay?”

That seems to be enough to convince Cotarou to focus more on eating and less on playing with his food. The other two kids are still working at their pancakes, content with eating the rest of their dinner with their mom at the table with them. Hanayo on the other hand pushes her plate a bit from her and turns to Nico.

“I’m pretty full now, Nico-chan. The pancakes were delicious!” There isn’t even a crumb left on the other girl’s plate and Nico picks it up and makes a small pile with her own dishes and her crush’s. She stands to take them over to the sink, placing them down inside it and turning to her mother.

“Can I tidy the dishes later, Mama?” Nico asks. Her mother smiles.

“Don’t worry about it,” She replies after swallowing a bite of pancake. “If you’d like, you and Koizumi-san can head off to your room now. Cocoro and Cocoa can team up with Mama and help. Right girls?”

The two kids seem enthusiastic with their replies of “YEAH!” and Nico can’t stop a laugh from escaping. With her Mother’s go ahead, Nico and Hanayo leave the dinner table. Nico leads Hanayo to the living room space, gesturing to the couch and letting Hanayo know she can sit down while she gets the DVD player ready. Lucky for Nico, she wouldn’t have to go too far since one of the box sets rests of the shelf in their livingroom. She quickly slips the first disc into the DVD player and moves back over to the couch, plopping down next to Hanayo and grinning.

“Are you psyched or what?! You’re in for an eventful first few episodes.” Nico says, teasing Hanayo with what’s to come. Hanayo is sitting alert, nodding firmly.

“It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen it, but I’m ready to experience it all over again!” She sounds rather serious about it and Nico can’t help but laugh. It’s cute; she’s cute. 

As the DVD menu title comes up on the television, there’s a loud vibrating noise, followed by a catchy tune. It comes from Hanayo’s pocket and both her and Nico look startled. Hanayo digs her hand into it and pulls out her phone, her eyes going wide as she see’s the name of the caller displayed on her screen. She immediately swipes it open and puts the phone to her ear.

“H-hello? Mom?” She greets the other person, a nervous hint to her voice. Her body relaxes when she listens to the woman on the other line and Nico waits patiently. 

“Yeah, I’m still at Nico-chan’s right now. We just finished eating dinner.” She smiles a bit and Nico can’t stop the way her chest swells. She really hopes her mother is just calling to check in but when her eyes go from relaxed to a widened stare Nico knows that might not be the case.

“Eh?! Really?!” Hanayo sounds shocked and Nico can feel a tiny, disheartened frown forming on her features, “O-okay. I’ll be home very soon! Please apologize to Grandma and Grandpa for me!” 

She hangs up the phone and looks at Nico apologetically. Nico’s burning curiosity is doused when Hanayo looks so upset. The call was definitely not a very good one.

“My grandparents have stopped by to visit. T-They live out of town, so we don’t get visits from them often,” The timid girl explains, “I’m really, really sorry Nico-chan. Can we try to reschedule?”

Nico knows she shouldn’t be upset or disappointed, but she can’t help the sinking feeling in her stomach. They were so close! Maybe if dinner hadn’t taken so long to make or playing with the kids was pushed to another time they would have gotten the chance to spend time together. 

She wants to feel bitter about it, but she knows that her little brother and sisters were really excited to play with someone new and Hanayo seemed to enjoy her time with the kids too. The fact she wants to reschedule is more than enough to give Nico hope that there will be another outside hangout with them -maybe even sometime soon- and with that in mind she puts on a happy smile.

“Of course! Nico-Nii is never too busy to hang out with her friends~” It earns a tiny laugh from Hanayo and Nico still counts it as a win. 

“Thanks, Nico-chan.” She gives her that big, kind hearted smile that Nico’s grown to love so much, and she returns it with a soft smile of her own.

Hanayo makes sure to say her goodbyes to the rest of the Yazawa household and Nico lets her mother know she’ll be walking Hanayo to their designated halfway point. Their shoes are slipped on and soon they’re heading out of the building and down the street. They walk side by side and Hanayo holds onto the straps of her bag and her gaze focused on the ground in front of them. Nico understands; she feels pretty similar. She rubs the back of her neck and exhales quietly.   
  
“Hey, don’t look so down,” Hanayo lets out a surprised eep, as if it had been a crime for her to be caught and a smile tugs at Nico’s lips. “We’ve got loads of time to watch the show together, right? It’s no big deal.”

“It’s not that,” Hanayo admits, looking at Nico, “I feel a little silly, is all. I know my grandparents stopping by was a surprise, but I feel kind of guilty.”

“Why? You have no reason to.” Nico points out.

“W-Well,” Hanayo’s cheeks are tinted a small pink hue and she can’t face Nico as she mumbles. “I-It’s cause I’d rather stay at your place and watch the show than go home and see them.”

The world around them fades into nothing for Nico. It’s just her and Hanayo, alone as they walk down an empty road. If she were to compare it to anything, it’d be one of those moments in shoujou animes where the background is nothing but faint, golden hues and tiny bubbles and sparkles surrounding them. A key, relationship-developing moment. Her heart practically leaps from her chest and she has to turn away so Hanayo doesn’t see the heavy blush on her face. She covers her mouth with the back of her hand and realizes she’s contributing to this heavy, significant feeling, but that’s something she’ll care more about later on.

Reality soon sets in and the moment passes and Nico clears her throat.

“N-Nico-Nii is flattered! Really, I am!” Her persona sets in to stop that queasy fluttery feeling in her chest. “But don’t worry too much about thoughts like that. It’s hard not to have them when you’re hanging out with a future idol superstar, after all!”

She can hear a tiny laugh from Hanayo and she glances over to find Hanayo has started to smile.

“Really though,” Nico continues, pushing forward, “It’s alright to feel that way. I feel like that all the time, but then I remember I’ll be able to see everyone else again later and it isn’t so bad. So just remember that even if we can’t today, there’s always next time. We can even plan it out later on Line, after your grandparents leave.”

Hanayo perks up at that idea and Nico mentally fist pumps as her suggestion is a hit.

“Okay Nico-chan.” She says with excitement in her voice. They reach the halfway point and the two of them stop together. The lingering feelings of not wanting to leave are there, but Hanayo takes Nico’s words to heart as she smiles at her. “Thanks for having me over today, Nico-chan. I’ll message you later?”

She has that hopeful look to her gaze and Nico can’t stop her grin.

“Of course! You know me, I’ll be up for a while anyway.” They both laugh at the comment and soon Hanayo is on her way, waving goodbye before she rounds the corner and disappears from Nico’s vision. The older girl is still smiling a big goofy grin as she turns and makes her way back towards her apartment. Even if they barely got to hang out, it was still a great day. Nico thinks that if nothing else, their friendship really grew today. 

As she gets home she kicks off her shoes, lets her family know she’s returned and trudges over to her room. She settles down on the bed and lies backward, sighing contently and closing her eyes. She enjoys the peaceful moment and recalls the short but sweet day with Hanayo. They ate pancakes, Hanayo played with her siblings, and then when they walked to the halfway point they had a really great time together too. But why does she feel like somethings missing?

Like a wave crashing against a pointed rocky shore, Nico’s eyes shoot open and she bolts upright, turning to her desk with dread. There, folded up neatly in the spot she left it, lies the letter. That same letter she forgot to slip into the envelope during her previous confession. The very letter she meant to give to Hanayo today. Nico’s stare soon becomes unfocused and she enters the void of thoughts that bombard her.

This time it isn’t her fault, her plans had to end on a hasty note thanks to Hanayo’s family, and it’s okay, it’s fine. This is fine. It wasn’t her mistake this time, so it can be brushed under the rug and forgotten about.

That doesn’t stop her from feeling immediate dread and a bitter taste in her mouth as she realizes that she’ll still have to give that to Hanayo at some point in the future. She groans, throwing herself back dramatically into her giant pile of stuffed animals. She picks one up and presses it into her face and gives a loud, exasperated groan that becomes muffled by the plush animal.

Next time for sure, she won’t be as clumsy and she’ll get that danged letter to Hanayo if it’s the last thing she does!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, commenting and leaving kudos! Next chapter will definitely Not be as long of a wait, and will hopefully not be.. as long.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, Kudos, and comments! It's very much appreciated ;w;!


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